Head2Head - Age DOES matter in a relationship

Written by: Desiree Dunn '11

Would you sacrifice your high school years just because you’re dating someone in college? Would you settle for a community college because your boyfriend or girlfriend is still in high school? Age does matter in a relationship, not just because of the number, but because of the things you are going through.

Dating someone older comes with extra complications and unnecessary drama. Someone older than you is likely to have more bills to pay, a job to upkeep, and more stress in their life. While you might be living it up your senior year, barely sleeping, hanging out with friends, and just sleeping the weekend away, your significant other is probably doing just the opposite.

If a high school student is dating a college student they usually have to rely on seeing each other over the weekends, (if that) and when they are on break. Maintaining a job and college life for him or her and trying to balance high school life and trying to mesh the two schedules together, is probably not that easy.

All those romantic dates and movies you hoped to go on? They are all replaced with cheap Kraft macaroni and cheese and flat diet coke in his parents’ basement or cheap apartment. Having his or her family fall in love with you and invite you to everything? Probably not likely either (unless you’re super lucky), his or her parents are probably uneasy about their son or daughter dating a silly, unpredictable high school student. Insecurity and unpredictability also come with dating someone older; while a high school student wants to hang out with friends, the older person is going to college parties, which makes some feel insecure and worried.

The younger person in the relationship may feel like they don’t measure up at times, which can also cause fights and lead to other various issues.

Dating someone younger also has its deal of problems. The maturity level may not be the same. Someone younger tends to be more selfish, less committed and overall “relationship ignorant”. Age of consent laws are also something to consider while dating someone younger, so check this website out first http://www.ageofconsent.com/michigan.htm.

Boys and girls who are younger don’t always know what they want and aren’t always going to take what you say or do seriously. One person may get hurt, due to the maturity difference, because you are just on different pages of your life. While you are going to college in the fall, leaving your boyfriend or girlfriend behind, you become lonely and sad because you’re used to seeing them all the time. And how would they understand how busy you are? You’re sleep- deprived and constantly working with no personal time! How in the world would someone younger understand your stress level with college classes and staying up all night for that final exam? They wouldn’t have a clue.

So, tell yourself, this is the time to be selfish and do what makes you happy, go out and just go for it!

And remember, if you babysit and they have kids, stay away! And if you have a full time job, and they get an allowance, also, stay away! Age is not just a number; it shows where you’ve been and your future ahead.

Head2Head - Age DOESN'T matter in a relationship

Written by: Sam Morrison '11

Love is ageless, and age is just a number; so why should it matter in a relationship? Yes, a difference in age can cause some struggles; however, if you make it through them, your relationship will be that much stronger. If you truly love your significant other then it wouldn’t matter, for example, if you went off to college the following year while he or she stayed back in high school for a few more years.  Regardless of the situation, two individuals who develop a love for each other should be allowed to be together without dealing with judgments and comments from others.

When one of you has to go off to college you may not like the fact that you are unable to see each other every single day in between classes, but hasn’t it been said that distance makes the heart grow fonder? Not seeing each other as often will make the time you are together more special and exciting. Don’t you go through the same problem when you are dating someone your age if you two choose to attend different colleges or if you live in different towns?

If you have a significant amount of chemistry with someone, love the person they are, or think they are cute, a difference in age should not affect the relationship. Every relationship has it struggles whether there is a contrast in age or not. Yes you may face a few different “bumps along the way” than a couple who were the same age, but if you have enough love for each other it is certain that you will make it work.

There is also the possibility that the younger person started “growing up” or maturing before the average person does, which means you two probably act the same age. So what if it is statistically proven that couples that consist of a college student and a high school student are less likely to get married or have a longer-term relationship than those relationships consisting of people the same age? There is always an exception to the rule.  Love is love; there is no difference of love between a couple who is 2 years apart and a couple in which the individuals are of the same age.

“Love has no boundaries,” says Garrett Johnson (’12) when asked if age matters in a relationship. Can we not all learn from the example of the famous story of Romeo and Juliet? They did not let others’ opinions ruin their love even when it was the ones closest to them who disapproved, and we should all follow suit. Opinions, appearance, social crowds, and age should not create any boundaries when it comes to love.

       If you are so opposed to being in a relationship with someone of a different age then don’t date out of your age group. Your judgment should not hinder the relationships of others who are content with their choice in dating someone who makes them happy regardless of age.
       One possible drawback of dating someone of a different age is hanging in different social scenes. College students go to college parties and high school students go to high school parties. Is there a significant difference between those situations that could cause severe problems within your commitment?
       If there is trust within your relationship it wouldn’t matter, and you cannot have a successful relationship without trust anyway.